Creation Story

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the
Earth and populated The Earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's Ice Cream And Krispy Creme Donuts. And
Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long
as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained
10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman
might keep the figure That Man found so fair. And
Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman
went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
presented Thousand Island Dressing, buttery croutons
and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast. God
then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables
and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan
brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
platter. And Man gained more weight and his
cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named
it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan
then created chocolate cake and named it
"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His
children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan
gave cable TV with a remote
control so Man would not have to toil changing the
channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before
the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled
off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained
pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And
Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"

And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And
Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac
arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.


_______________________

Thought for the day .....

There is more money being spent on breast implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This
means that by 2040,there should be a large elderly
population with perky boobs and huge erections and
absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.